On Parenting: “Don’t love them too much.”

We recently celebrated my daughter’s twentieth birthday. When she was a baby I remember my Mom saying “don’t love her too much”. I didn’t understand what she was saying then. As a matter of fact it used to annoy me quite a bit. But as I have gotten older, I’ve come to understand that she already knew something that I was yet to apprehend.

The meaning of this saying started to dawn on me when my daughter was in preschool. One day she came home complaining of a playground bully. I realized the extent to which my life had changed when I, an almost 40 year old adult, wanted to beat up a five year old kid because they hurt my child’s feelings. What I knew intellectually came home in a very practical way. We raise children to send them out in the world. The older they get we are moved further and further to the periphery of their lives. And so it should be. We hope that the example that we have set and the seeds that we have sown will bear fruit in the appropriate season.

Mom taught me to remember that although my husband and I were the vessels through which she came into the world – SHE BELONGS TO GOD. She has her own assignment here on earth for which she will be held accountable.

So, quoting from my favorite writers, Rev. Laura Norvell and Khalil Gibran “keep them safe, help them grow strong, surround them with good people, help them find joy” for WE are the bows from which are children as living arrows are sent forth”.