It never occurred to me that the first post on my blog would be about my Mother’s passing. My Momma, Ethel C. Lewis, aka Mom, Grandma, Ms. Lewis, Ethel Catherine, Great Grandma, Aunt Ethel, Mother Lewis, ‘Da Boss’ passed away on November 28, 2020. To be honest, I absolutely never thought she would leave us. Mom had reached her 90th birthday milestone. And though she was very ill, as Pastor Jones said at her homegoing service, you may have “time to prepare but you are never ready”. So, here I am processing the grief of her passing and trying to reconcile how it will impact my life forever.
I was reading a column in The Guardian and Mariella Frostrup wrote “for most women the next opportunity for seismic self scrutiny and reinvention doesn’t come until we are in our 50s when readjustments are often necessary for stage two of life’s evolutionary journey.” Mom’s passing along with other life events have sped up the pace of those adjustments to warp speed. Facing death has a way of making one evaluate life in new and concrete ways.
As I contemplate how to move forward, I am compelled to look backwards. In 2008 I laid out a vision to enter the media space representing my perspective as a human being with black skin and all of the other intersectionalities of life, navigating the world. The time has come for me to live my vision. And this is only one vision. I have many.
You only get a short while to talk about your beloved deceased. People move on from their condolences on the waves of the hustle and bustle of life and you are expected to do the same. Anything else suggests that you are in danger of emotional stagnation. But what happens when you can’t ‘move on’. Mom was my Mom. I’ll need to speak about her forever, daily. So I have decided to start with this blog.
The rest of my life will be a tribute to her legacy of love, authenticity, straight talk, concern and care in everything that I do. God has every intention for me to “expand the boundaries of my life”. May I settle for nothing less.
independently-iris.com 
Thank you for this blog my sister. I am with you on this journey. May God continue to keep Mama alive in our hearts.
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I think this is beautiful and very helpful to others who are grieving the loss of their mother. My is still living and I can only imagine the pain but I know it must be deep. Many people are afraid to be so open about their feelings and I applaud your bravery.
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Awesome blog! Keep it going and know that she will continue to speak to you thru other people, ideas that pop into your head or simply during your quiet time! Reflection is good for the soul!
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Beautiful tribute to your mom!
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New to blogging but what an awesome way to memorialize Mrs Lewis. The mold for strong black women like her has disappeared.
We need the lessons taught to us to be shared.
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